


Blooming Love

by thorkified



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Emotional Hurt, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 21:39:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18106982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorkified/pseuds/thorkified
Summary: When Peter one day starts coughing up flower petals, he is devastated. Despite knowing his love is not returned, though, he decides to hide his state to not lose his own, but he can only keep it a secret for so long before Tony eventually finds out.





	Blooming Love

**Author's Note:**

> The art you will find in this fic was drawn by the amazing [**c6h12o6-work**](https://c6h12o6-work.tumblr.com/) on tumblr and I feel so blessed for this beautiful addition to this story. Thank you for inspiring this fic and for illustrating it like this, it was an wonderful experience!

Peter always knew there was a possibility he would catch the disease, given most of his family members had had it, but he never expected it to actually happen. Especially not with Tony Stark. Ever since they met, Peter adored Tony and saw him as an incredible mentor, soon even as a friend when they began to actually work together. But love? No, he never expected love.

Which is why at first, Peter is genuinely confused and shocked. He coughs out the first petals one day while they work at the lab and Tony leaves to get them something to eat. They are not very small and white and Peter stares at them for a whole minute with his heart racing and his breath going fast. Before Tony comes back he quickly picks the petals up and puts them in his pocket, completely terrified and scared of being discovered.

That night, Peter coughs up some more petals and when he looks at them up close, he realizes what flower they belong to. An Orchid. Tony’s favorite flowers are orchids, he knows that because Tony told him one day while they were chatting over random stuff. Which means he has the indefinite proof that Tony is the root of this, no one else. At the realization, Peter’s eyes fill with tears and he covers his face with his hands, letting out a heart wrenching sob of desperation and designation.

Peter hopes against all hope that this isn’t true, that it will go away again, but it doesn’t take more than a week before he realizes it won’t. Now that he knows, he understands the happiness he feels when he’s with Tony, understands that he’s not making things up. He fell in love with Tony, the man that sees him as his pupil, his friend even, but who he knows will never see him as more than that. It makes his heart ache in a way he didn’t deem possible before. He can’t tell him, no way. Without Tony returning his feelings, there is only one direction this disease will progress into and it terrifies the boy to the very core.

In the weeks that follow, the amount of petals Peter coughs up becomes more and it’s more frequent too, but he keeps hiding it, both from Tony and from anyone else. He notices that there’s an uncomfortable pressure on his chest after a while, one that won’t go away, and knows what it means. He’s starting to bloom. It’s not outright painful yet, but it will be soon.

Still, he’s so incredibly happy when he’s with Tony, he barely feels that something is wrong with his body. _This is love_ , he thinks whenever he looks at the older man, whenever he hears his voice or hears him laugh about something. _I don’t want this to end, it’s beautiful._

At night it’s the worst. Not only because he’s away from Tony, but also because he’s lonely and cold and sometimes he has coughing fits that last for over two minutes, covering his bed with countless of white petals. When that happens, all he can do is cry himself to sleep, fully aware that this is his doom and that he can’t do anything about it. He loves Tony with all his heart and the more this feeling grows, the further his disease will progress. Ultimately, it will destroy him, but Peter realizes he will accept this outcome, if only it means he can be with Tony until then.

One day, when he’s on patrol, Peter is suddenly shaken with a cough so bad, he almost misses one of his shots and barely makes it onto a roof before he hunches over and nearly throws up a handful of petals. And in the middle of them lays a complete flower. Peter picks it up with shaking hands and presses it against his chest, tears rolling down his cheeks.

It’s getting worse, he can feel it for some time already, but the flower is the last hint. He’s in full bloom now, even breathing becomes difficult at times due to his lungs being filled with leaves and flowers. He doesn’t go over to the tower that day, even though Tony waits for him. He needs time to process this, to figure out how long he still has and… and what to do.

The next day is a Saturday and Peter is still asleep when he hears a knock on his door that startles him awake. He spent most of the night sobbing into his pillow, so he barely manages to wake up before someone opens his door. It’s Tony.

“W-What are you doing here?” Peter asks, completely confused and rubbing his eyes as he sits up.

“Checking to see if you’re okay,” Tony sighs and steps closer, grabbing the chair from Peter’s desk. Before he can pull it away, however, his eyes fall on the flower that lays in the middle of it and he freezes. “Where does that come from?” he asks, without turning around. Peter’s blood feels like it turned to ice.

“It’s nothing!” he quickly insists and tries to get out of bed, nearly entangling his legs in the sheets. Once he if finally on his feet he rushes over to the desk and grabs the flower before Tony can and tries to hide it in his hands. “Just something I found yesterday, nothing important.”

“It’s an orchid,” Tony says quietly, looking up at him. “Where did you find an orchid on patrol?”

Peter’s cheeks flush and he turns his head, walking back over to his bed to put the flower onto his nightstand. “It laid on a roof I came across,” he lies, his voice utterly quiet. “I just thought it was pretty, so I took it with me.”

For a moment, Peter thinks Tony will say something, accuse him of lying, but he doesn’t. Instead, he turns his chair around to sit down. When he turns to look at him, Peter can’t quite identify the expression on the man’s face.

“Did something happen last night?” Tony asks eventually, looking at him. “I worried when you didn’t come over.”

Peter swallows and shakes his head quickly. “I just… didn’t feel too good and I was really tired. I didn’t want to fall asleep in the lab, so I figured I’d just go home.”

“Do me a favor and tell me next time, okay?” Tony asks, but he doesn’t look mad or angry. “I thought you got hurt or kidnapped or something.”

The worry surprises Peter, but he nods slowly, feeling utterly ashamed. His chest hurts horribly from the sudden movement before and he has a hard time breathing quietly, even without doing anything. “I’ll tell you next time, promised,” he says, fighting to keep his voice steady. “Is that all?”

“Almost,” Tony says, a smirk appearing on his lips. “I wanted to ask you if you’d like to grab something to eat. If you don’t have other plans, of course.”

Peter’s heart makes a backflip and he stares at Tony surprised. “Like… you and me? Going out for dinner?”

“Sure, why not?” Tony shrugs and gets up, stretching his neck. “You look like you could need it and, given it’s almost noon, I won’t say no to something either. How about you get dressed and then we see where we want to go?”

Peter just nods, not sure what to say. After Tony leaves he gets dressed in record time and only coughs once, for whatever reason. For a moment he gets the wild idea that Tony is taking him out for a date, but that would just be too good to be true, so he pushes the thought away and tries to just be happy to spend some time with him.

Tony takes Peter to a small restaurant not very far away and they have a nice, calm lunch, talking mostly about work and Peter’s patrols. Tony is in the middle of explaining a new gadget design to Peter when the boy’s eyes suddenly widen and he chokes, covering his mouth with his hands. He jumps off before Tony can finish his question about what’s wrong and runs to the restrooms, not without coughing into his hand and trying desperately to muffle the sounds. In his hurry, he doesn’t notice the small white petal falling from his hands, but Tony does and at the sight of it, his chest tightens horribly.

It takes five minutes before Peter comes back, his face red and his eyes still teary from nearly choking. He flushed down more petals and fully blooming flowers than ever before and the pain in his lungs is enough to make him want to scream, but he tries his best to not show how much it hurts when he sits back down.

“Sorry, I… I think I’m getting sick,” he mumbles, without looking at Tony. “Maybe that’s why I was so tired last night.”

Tony is quiet for a moment, more to make sure his voice doesn’t give away what he just discovered than because he doesn’t know what to say. “Do you feel better now?” he asks, worry swinging in his voice. The petal is still in his hand under the table, out of Peter’s sight.

“A bit, yeah,” Peter sighs and shakes his head. “Sorry, that was… really rude.”

“Pete… why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?” Tony wants to know, without anger or disappointment in his voice. All Peter can hear is sadness and that somehow hurts even more.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he mumbles, rubbing his arm awkwardly. “I’m fine.”

“Are you, really?” Suddenly, there’s a thud and Peter looks up, his eyes falling onto Tony’s hand that rests on the table and on the petal laying on his palm. “What’s this then?”

“A… a petal?” Peter asks, swallowing hard.

“A petal you dropped,” Tony sighs. “You’re sick, Peter, aren’t you?”

Peter suddenly just wants to disappear on the spot. He didn’t want Tony to find out, especially not like this. Instead of answering, he just nods and drops his head to avoid any eye contact.

“Kid, this isn’t something you can just ignore,” Tony says, almost sharply, and Peter can feel himself flinch a little. “How long is this going on already?”

“Two months,” Peter admits quietly, tears building in his eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” Tony gasps and runs a hand through his hair. Two months means Peter’s lungs are highly infected already. “Pete, we have to do something about this!”

“No!” Peter gasps immediately and finally looks up, completely horrified. “You can’t make me!”

“Peter! We have to remove it! You’ll die at this rate!”

“But I don’t _want_ to!”

Tony looks at him in absolute disbelief. Peter’s tears are spilling over at this point and he has his hands clenched to fists, trying with all he has to force the pain in his chest back so he can breathe.

“Whoever is is that you love, they can’t love you back if they don’t understand what it’s doing to you!” Tony’s voice is almost desperate and the way Peter looks at him makes it clear this is far bigger than he understands.

“Don’t…” Peter whispers, his voice thick from tears. “Don’t say that, Tony, please…” He shakes his head and pushes himself up, both heartbroken and frightened. He never thought Tony would suggest something like this and it hurts far more than this disease ever could. That the one he loves so much wants him to destroy those feelings is unbearable.

“Pete, are you really willing to die because of this?”

For a moment, Peter wants to answer, but then he decides against it and turns around to leave. It’s of no use arguing with Tony, he doesn’t understand, probably doesn’t even know that it’s about him. And Peter can’t stand seeing the worry on Tony’s face, knowing he’s the one who causes it all.

Peter makes it out of the restaurant and the parking lot before he feels an arm on his shoulder and is turned back around. He doesn’t even bother to look up, it’s clear who it is.

“Kid, please, this isn’t worth it, okay?” Tony sounds scared himself now and it makes Peter’s heart ache. “We can fix this, you don’t have to let this go any further.”

“And then?” Peter sniffs and wipes his eyes angrily. “Do you know what you’re asking of me? You want me to remove it! You want me to remove my feelings too!”

“No one is worth dying for like this, Peter, don’t you see that?”

“Some people are!” Peter insists, shaking his head. He’s about to say something again when he is shaken with another cough fit, one that actually makes him hold onto Tony for support to not just drop to the ground. When he pulls his hand back it’s covered with petals and he lets out a horrible sob.

“Peter…” Tony’s voice is quiet as he stares at the hand, at the white petals and the small red dots all over them. Blood. So the disease has progressed even further than he thought.

“Please, Tony,” Peter gasps, trying to get some air into his infected lungs. “I don’t want to lose this… I… I can’t…” He opens his hand, letting the petals fall to the ground where they form a small pile. “I don’t want it removed…”

Tony’s hand drops from where it still rested on Peter’s shoulder and his face shows nothing but pain and sorrow. Peter forces himself to look up at him, if only to remind himself that he can’t lose the love he has for Tony, no matter the cost.

“You truly want to die for someone who doesn’t love you back?” Tony asks, sadness making his voice weak and heavy.

“I’d rather die knowing my feelings were important enough to make this sacrifice than throw them away like they are nothing.” Peter turns his head and sighs, every part of his body aching by now. “I’m sorry, I… I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to worry over this.”

“I’ll always worry over you, kid,” Tony assures him, but Peter can only react with a sad smile. “Please think about this… you’re throwing so much more away if you let this happen.”

“I will,” Peter promises, but he doesn’t plan to think about this. He won’t change his mind, this love he feels for Tony is too important, he can’t destroy it like that.

\-----

It’s a week before Peter has a fit at the lab, so hard he almost passes out. The petals and flowers he coughs out this time are barely white anymore, they are almost completely red. When Tony sees the state of him, his heart nearly breaks. Peter can barely breathe anymore and won’t stop clutching his chest, his breath sounding like rattling chains more than anything else.

“We have to get you to a hospital!” Tony insists, but Peter immediately shakes his head, trying to get away from him.

“I don’t want to!” he cries before coughing up another mouthful of petals and blood. “Please… I don’t want it gone…”

“Peter, you’re dying!” Tony could barely keep his own emotions at bay, just seeing Peter like this hurting like hell. “You’re asking me to let you die! To _watch_ you die!”

Peter’s chest tightens at those words even more and he covers his face with his hands, sobbing painfully.

“I’m begging you, Pete… don’t make me watch you die like this…” Tony comes closer again and pulls the boy into his arms, tears shimmering in his own eyes too now. “Please don’t, I can’t watch you die, kid… not like this, please…”

“I don’t want this to be gone,” Peter sobs, unconsciously clinging to Tony because his embrace is too comforting not to. “I never felt so happy, I don’t want to lose this…”

“And I don’t want to lose you,” Tony sniffs sadly. “You’re still so young, Pete… please don’t throw your life away like this. I could never forgive myself if I let this happen…”

There is nothing Peter can say against Tony’s words. He didn’t want him to know because of this exact situation and now he is hurting Tony by clinging to the love he has for him. He feels so selfish for refusing to listen, but he doesn’t want to lose Tony either…

“Will it hurt?” he finally asks quietly, not sure if he can take much more pain.

“Not for long, I promise,” Tony says as relief washes over him. “You will sleep and when you wake up it will be gone. But we have to hurry, you… you’re very sick, Pete… I don’t know how much longer you will be able to go on like this.”

“Can you stay with me, please?” Peter asks and looks up, unable to hide the fear in his voice or eyes.

“I won’t leave your side for even a second,” Tony assures him and lets go of Peter so he can stand up. The boy’s steps are shaky and he can barely keep himself up, so Tony steadies him with an arm around his waist and by holding one of his hands in his own. “It’s all going to be okay, I’m coming with you.”

Peter doesn’t protest when Tony leads him to the elevator and then to a car in the garage. He is too focused on trying to breathe and barely even realizes that Tony races them to the hospital in record time. Only when he tries to get out of the car and fails, Peter understands the severity of his situation. Tony is immediately by his side, however and simply picks him up bridal style to carry him into the building. Not even fifteen minutes later, Peter is laying on a hospital bed, holding one of Tony’s hands. He’s an emergency and they are preparing the surgery while waiting for Peter’s anesthetics to knock him out.

“You’ll be okay, kid, just relax,” Tony says reassuringly, brushing his fingers over the back of Peter’s hand gently. He’s terrified and can see that Peter feels the same, but he needs to keep it together and not show how scared he is, at least for now. “They will take care of you.”

“I’m sorry, Tony,” Peter whispers, the words coming out with a slight slur already. “I couldn’t tell you, I… I was too scared you’d hate me…”

“I could never hate you, Peter,” Tony immediately says truthfully and shakes his head. “It’s all good now, you’ll feel better when you wake up, I promise.”

“I wish I were someone else,” Peter sighs and his head rolls to the side, eyes still open but clearly not really seeing Tony anymore. “Maybe you could have loved me then… I’m sorry for being me…”

Tony’s chest tightens and he grips Peter’s hand more firmly without realizing it. Over the last week he had expected to be the one to cause Peter’s condition, but actually hearing the words come out of the boy’s mouth feels like being slapped across the face with a hammer. Even though he can’t control his feelings, he feels horrible for not noticing anything for so long and for letting Peter go through this.

“Don’t say that, Peter,” Tony finally manages to get out, his voice horribly dry. “You’re amazing, it’s not your fault.”

“M’sorry, sir… m’sorry for… loving you…”

Tony can barely breathe when he watches Peter’s eyes fall shut, cutting his words off. His vision is blurred, but even after wiping his eyes, he still feels like he just got hit by a truck. When the nurse comes in to take Peter, Tony is almost glad. He doesn’t leave even after they rolled the boy outside, simply buries his face in his hands as the tears start falling in silence, begging they can save Peter’s life, even if it means destroying his love for him.

\-----

It’s three hours before Peter is finally brought back from the surgery. Tony is in the waiting room, walking up and down aimlessly and worried out of his mind. When the doctor finally approaches him, his heart is racing.

“Is he okay? Were you able to remove it fully?”

“The operation was a success, no need to worry,” the doctor says and smiles. “He’s in the waking room now, you can wait with him if you want to. As for the flowers… we always ask if they should be thrown away or not.”

“How many were they?” Tony asks, not even sure why he feels the need to know. The doctor sighs.

“Many, but we were able to remove them all,” he informs him. “We have kept a few intact ones in case Mr. Parker wants them, all cleaned of course.”

Tony nods and runs a hand through his hair. “Keep them for now, please. I will talk to him about it. And thank you, I mean it. I thought it might be too late already when I brought him here.”

“A week later and it would have been,” the doctor says and shakes Tony’s hand when he offers it. “But he will recover fully, he’s a strong kid.”

“Yeah, he really is…”

A nurse leads Tony to the waking room and he immediately takes a seat next to Peter’s bed, covering one of his hands with his own. The boy looks awfully pale, but at least he’s alive. That’s all that matters now. For the next half hour, Tony sits still and simply brushes a thumb over Peter’s hand, waiting for the boy to wake up again.

When Peter’s eyes start fluttering and he stirs, Tony feels a wave of relief wash over him.

“Hey, kid,” he says with a shaky smile, squeezing Peter’s hand. “How are you doing?”

It takes Peter a few minutes to wake up enough to even realize Tony sits next to him and when he does, he smiles sweetly. “Did it work?” he asks with a thick slur. “Is it gone?”

“It’s gone, yes,” Tony assures him, ignoring the knot in his stomach. “The doctor said you’ll be fine, they managed to remove it all without permanent damage.”

“Good,” Peter sighs and closes his eyes again for a while. Tony just stays quiet and keeps holding the boy’s hand, waiting for him to fully come out of his half-awake state. When Peter opens his eyes again, they are still partially clouded, but his voice sounds a little more like his own. “Sorry for all of this…”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Tony says, shaking his head and gently brushing a hand through Peter’s hair. “I’m just glad you’re okay, I was afraid it might be too late already.” He refrains from telling him just how close it truly was, figuring it won’t make a difference anymore now and might just upset Peter unnecessarily.

“At least we can get back to normal now,” Peter says and looks up at Tony, who suddenly just wants to hug the kid as tight as he can. He doesn’t, of course, given Peter just came out of surgery, but he nods.

“Yeah, we can do that,” he smiles.

When Peter is released, Tony takes the preserved flowers from the nurse, since Peter doesn’t want them. He doesn’t even know why, but it feels like the right thing to do at the time.

\-----

‘Normal’, in the end, turns out to be very different from how it was before. After being so close to seeing Peter die, Tony finds himself extremely protective and caring towards the boy once he’s out of the hospital. Peter is over at his place almost daily now and Tony pretty much pampers him in any way possible, which often leads to Peter telling him to tone it down a bit because he’s not a child anymore. Tony always promises to do so, but he never can. The sheer happiness to know the boy is alive is enough to push him to keep going.

The weeks after Peter’s operation are not calm, but undoubtedly the best Tony ever experienced. They start working together rather quickly and at one point, Tony even accompanies Peter on his patrol, which ends with many selfies of people they helped out and snack breaks on rooftops together. Sometimes, Tony catches himself just looking at Peter as he speaks, without really processing his words, but he doesn’t think much about it. He’s just happy, that’s all. He almost lost Peter, of course he’s happy that he didn’t.

When Tony wakes up one morning with a cough, he doesn’t worry about it. It’s cold outside, everyone is sick, he probably just managed to catch a cold while he was out with Peter. He gets down to the lab, continuing to work on repairing one of his blasters, frequently disturbed by another coughing fit. After a while, he gets seriously annoyed by it, but he knows there’s not much to do about a cold, so he tries to suck it up and ignore it.

That evening though, he suddenly finds a petal in his hands after another fit. He stares at it for over five minutes, unable to process the meaning behind the small, white petal on his palm. Eventually, he brushes it off and shakes his head almost violently, not wanting to believe what he saw. This didn’t just happen, that’s impossible! He decides it’s too late to properly think anymore and goes to bed, not without having a few drinks to calm himself down.

For a whole week, nothing else like this happens and Tony almost believes he just made the whole thing up, which wouldn’t even surprise him after everything that has been going on. Waking up on a pillow with more of those small petals next to him quickly ruins this belief, unfortunately. Tony nearly falls out of his bed when he sees them, his heart racing and his breath going much faster than he wants it to. Again, he throws the petals away and starts his morning with a drink, which marks the beginning of an absolutely awful day.

Tony is in complete denial of what’s happening to him, to the point he will actually cancel appointments with Peter on days when his coughing is too strong to ignore it. He refuses to look the flowers up that grow inside of him, despite knowing it would be a matter of seconds for Friday to tell him what they are. Once the pain in his chest starts, however, his denial turns sour and bitter. Tony spends a whole day locked in the lab, continuously coughing up petals and small flowers just the same, to the point where he has half his desk covered with them in the evening.

Only then, Tony openly accepts what’s happening and after a quick search, Friday informs him that the flowers are White Lilacs. Flowers that are a symbol of youthful innocence and memories. Tony knows they are not Peter’s favorite flowers, those are Lilies, he told him before. That sadly doesn’t make anything better, as Tony has a very solid assumption as to why it’s those specific flowers, instead of Lilies. Because of what Peter sacrificed to live. On Tony’s request…

He knows that he has to tell Peter. It’s only a matter of time before he will find out anyway and if he keeps it a secret until then, Peter will be just as hurt as Tony has been before. But how can he tell the kid? How can he tell him that he fell in love with him, after almost forcing Peter to give up on his own love in order to survive? If he hadn’t been this close-minded, if he hadn’t been this stubborn… Tony begged Peter to destroy his feelings towards him to not die and now… now he returns those feelings that have disappeared. It makes him feel like absolute trash.

It’s almost a week later that Tony finally manages to summon the courage to talk to Peter. They are on patrol again and just handed a little thief to the police, which has Peter absolutely thrilled and excited, given it’s the biggest thing they have encountered in weeks. They take a rest on a roof, Peter still exhilarated about how he webbed the guy to a wall earlier, when Tony takes a deep breath to brace himself.

“I need to tell you something, kid,” he says, voice quiet and filled with shame. Peter falls silent, looking at him with worry.

“What happened?” he asks, visibly confused. “Did I do something wrong?”

Tony shakes his head and sighs. “It’s nothing like that,” he assures him and coughs into his hand. By now it’s impossible to force the coughing back, so he just lets it happen. “I need to apologize to you.”

“Apologize for what?” Peter wants to know, dropping down next to Tony with a frown. The last weeks have been nice and great, they spent a lot of time together and always had fun, so he can’t figure out why Tony would feel the need to apologize.

Instead of answering, Tony simply opens his fist and reveals the petals on his palm. He doesn’t look at Peter, feeling too guilty and ashamed to do so, which is why he doesn’t see the boy’s eyes widen or his jaw drop.

“You… don’t tell me it’s…”

“It’s you,” Tony sighs, pulling his hand back. “It started two weeks ago. I didn’t want to believe it, not after what I made you do, but… I can’t pretend this isn’t happening anymore.”

Peter is silent for a long time. So long, in fact, that Tony eventually turns around to look at him, immediately wishing he wouldn’t have. The boy’s eyes are filled with tears and he looks so absolutely shattered, Tony is surprised he can’t hear the sound of his heart breaking.

“W-Why?” Peter asks finally, his voice quiet and utterly sad. Tony realizes he doesn’t have an answer because he doesn’t _know_ why, he just knows that it’s happening.

“I don’t know,” he admits, shaking his head and looking away again. “But I will have it removed. Tomorrow…”

There’s a quiet sob that makes Tony want to turn back time, just to prevent Peter to go through all the pain he endured just to keep what he is willing to throw away.

“I’m sorry, Pete,” Tony says quietly, dropping his shoulders. “I don’t want to do this because I don’t care, but… I know you don’t feel like this anymore…”

“No, you need to get it removed,” Peter quickly says, shaking his head. The immediate agreement has Tony look up confused. “I don’t want you to… to die because of this. It’s not your fault…”

Tony looks at Peter for a long moment, trying to figure out whether or not he is doing the right thing with this. He doesn’t want to hurt Peter any more than he already did. And now, he fully understands why Peter so vehemently refused to have this removed, too. The happiness he feels when he’s with him is incredible, almost overwhelming in a way, and if it weren’t for his inevitable death, Tony would never want to get rid of it himself.

“I wish I would have known sooner,” Tony says, his heart heavy and his chest aching, both from the physical and emotional pain. “I destroyed everything because I didn’t believe I could ever feel like this and took something away from you that you wanted to keep so desperately…”

Peter slowly shakes his head, taking one of Tony’s hands into his own. “You didn’t know, Tony,” he says, his voice understanding and sad at the same time. “I know you would have never asked me to get it removed otherwise. But I don’t want to lose you, I… I can’t.”

Tony wipes the tears that have built up in his eyes away and lets out a trembling sigh. “I’m sorry, Peter, I mean it,” he says. “If I could give this back to you somehow… I would do it, I promise.”

“It’s okay,” Peter assures him, pulling the man into a tight hug. “I’ll still be here afterwards, I promise.”

And he is. As much as it hurts to have his flowers removed, Tony does it with the belief that he will still be able to be with Peter, even if it will be without this beautiful love he feels. Peter is with him when he goes into surgery and he’s there when he wakes up too, smiling his sweet and gentle smile that still fills Tony’s chest with a pleasant warmth. He doesn’t ask to keep the flowers they removed, but Peter does. Tony has no idea, but it doesn’t really matter. He knows that Peter won’t go anywhere, that he will keep his promise to stay, and that’s all he cares about.

For a while, there is a certain emptiness in Tony’s chest after the surgery. It’s not something that actually hurts, though, but more like an ache that is always there. Like a reminder that something is missing. It takes Peter quite some time to tell Tony that he felt like this too after his surgery, but that things have gotten better when he could still be with him in a way. It does get better for Tony too, eventually, even if he sometimes wonders how things could have been had they not gone through this. They are in this together, though, and in the end, they both sacrificed their love to keep each other. It doesn’t take a genius to understand how much this means, really.

A few months pass in which they both recover and one day, Tony decides that he wants to do something to make sure he won’t forget what happened. It’s a spontaneous decision, really, but it feels right, so he does it. He gets a tattoo of the Orchids Peter had grown, just a small one on his hip, but even that means a lot to him. He takes the preserved flowers with him into the studio and asks for the tattoo to be the exact same. After that, he feels a little better. It doesn’t fill the emptiness, but it makes it less heavy, less intense, somehow.

It’s a month later that Tony notices something on Peter’s hip too, something that both shocks and touches him equally. He doesn’t confront the boy about it, as he clearly wasn’t meant to see it - Peter stretched to grab something from a high shelf and his shirt slipped up - but it makes him feel very happy. Apparently, Peter had a similar idea, because Tony clearly saw a flower on the boy’s hip, one that looked eerily familiar to a Lilac.

They don’t fall in love again, which is something that saddens both of them from time to time. But they stay close, they stay friends and spend a lot of time together, and after around half a year, it feels like everything is alright again. Could things have been different? Probably. But if Tony was given the choice between having Peter in his life or dying from unrequited love, he knows the answer he would give. Because, even without those feelings, Peter is still the one he will put before anything else. And Tony knows he will always be.


End file.
